Who wears the pants in a relationship matters – especially if you're a woman
A collection of articles on love, sex and relationships, with tips and advice on how to have What 1, Men Think About #MeToo: A Glamour x GQ Survey. Every romantic relationship has a power dynamic. While men are just as likely as women to say they wield less power, the costs of feeling. Want to know if you are a "Real Man," or in a relationship with a "Real Man"? Look out for these Scroll down to continue reading article.
Men want their solutions to be appreciated; women want their assistance to be appreciated and somewhere along the line all this gets misunderstood. Dating essentially becomes this intense battlefield of mind games that no one really knows how to navigate and results in explosive fights for no good reason.
When faced with tough times, men become non-communicative so they can work out how best to help themselves, while women become communicative so that others can work out how best to help them. When men do communicate, they like to get to the point, but women enjoy talking for its own sake.
Thus a gap in communication is created and we have the root of most problems in a relationship. Fixing this break in a couples' communicating methods is a great step towards better understanding the needs of your partner.
When it comes to actually talking, men and women speak in very different ways. They basically speak two completely different languages. Men talk in very literal terms while women use a more artistic and dramatic vocabulary to fully express their feelings. Men like to sort their thoughts out before communicating them and thus become distant and non-communicative as they ponder their feelings.
This difference between men and women can lead both to feeling personally to blame for the others problems - which is not true, but the divide in communication can make it seem that way.
It is also important to note that nobody really needs someone. Yeah sure, it is nice to have someone to hold at night and it feels good to share your life with another human being, however, men and women were each built to survive independently.
A man's instinct is to look after himself first and foremost, while women have valued their independence long before they were even given civil rights. You have to consider the thoughts and feelings of your partner and sometimes have to put their needs before yours. Again, this is difficult for both men and women because each is used to being on their own.
Both have to remember to accept and forgive the other, and avoid blaming them when they fail. For example, men feel gratified when they are left to sort things out by themselves and feel undermined by being offered sympathy or help while women feel the opposite. Women feel gratified by being offered support and feel undermined when they are left to sort things out by themselves.
It is important to recognize this difference and remember it when issues in the relationship arise. Do not fault them for trying to be there for you. Emotional Intimacy From a very young age, men are taught to avoid appearing weak at all costs. He can expose the cracks in his armour and allow his partner to help him heal. Just as women need to slowly open up sexually within a relationship, men open up over time emotionally.
If you push him away or are unable to be nurturing when he needs it the most, he will no longer trust you with his emotions.
He will remove himself somewhat from the relationship. Space Author Deborah Tannen has written brilliantly on the masculine and feminine divide between independence and intimacy masculine being primarily drawn towards independence and the feminine toward intimacy. Within all of my relationships and the vast majority of my clients, I consistently see that it is the feminine-associated female partner that wants more time spent together and the masculine-associated male partner wanting more time apart.
There is no perfect balance to be found here. This will always be a balancing act of closeness and separateness.
But rest assured, suffocating a man either by failing to allow him free time or with overly jealous behaviour is the fastest way to end a relationship. Men need breathing room in a relationship. We need time for our hobbies, time with our friends, and time to toil away on our projects to feel fulfilled.
Traditionally, when women or the feminine associated partner needed to solve a problem, they would go further into the tribe — connecting with close friends and family and discussing their issues.
The Real Difference Between Men And Women When It Comes To Relationships - Narcity
Conversely, when men have a problem to solve, they would leave the tribe to be alone with their thoughts. So let him roam. Leave him to his own devices.
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A man will be that much happier for you to receive him when he returns, knowing that you trust both him and the strength of your bond enough to let him have his space. Physical Touch Men need frequent non-sexual touch as well as a sense of sexual access.
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Security Men and women are both attracted to certainty in a relationship. The more a man feels like his partner is in it for the long haul, the more ready and able he is to be able to open up to her assuming he is equally invested in her. The security that he feels ties back in to several of these points. He feels secure in knowing that you approve of him and where he is in his career.
He feels secure and loved when you touch him non-sexually throughout the day.
And he feels secure with a partner who takes steps to love him in the way that he most needs. If you are a man reading this, do you feel like all of your needs are being met? Could you ask for your partner to do something differently?