Flirtation Rules s ~ via The Retronaut – Jane Austen in Vermont
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We play with our charms, but it means nothing until a clear consent has been expressed. Now let me tell you of two very good outcomes of this way to go.
The first one is that the sensual expression of each French human being is not circumscribed by the marital bedroom. We are sensual beings all the time, so why would this part of us simply disappear during three quarters of the day? France is one of the places in the world where workers are the most productive, and I often thought that it was due to that.
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The human sense of flirty workplaces makes people livelier and finally more efficient in their work. The second wonderful benefit, and I mostly address my brothers here, is what flirting brings in terms of much easier relations between the sexes and the way it increases possibilities for very nice love or sensual affairs. But there are other ones among you guys who are not pick-up artists.
And you are the ones who maybe know the frustration that goes with desiring women that you encounter in many life situations without seeing the moment when these sexy creatures would indulge your naughty fantasies.
Now, do you want to know how many of them came out of picking up? Each and every wonderful sensual story I had in my life started with flirtation, moving on to seduction and finally to an affair. And maybe I feel the need to make a stage whisper to pick-up men here.
We are French. Yes we flirt all the time and we like it!
So I know the territory. I have never done this in real life and have never felt the need to. I am not sure this is really correct behaviour but am having great trouble stopping — not using the computer seems the only way.
Please can you offer any advice on how I can kick this habit. Mariella replies Let's work out if you need to first.
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Flirting in cyberspace shouldn't necessarily sound the death knell for your relationship. You're only keeping up with the Jones's, as the saying goes. From Facebook to Twitter, social media increasingly requires you to hone your skills at global seduction, inducing strangers and acquaintances to "friend" you for the world to admire. What harm can a bit of online chitchat do when the whole world is out there desperately trying to make connections?
I know grown adults who squander hours honing pithy character bon mots in the hope of going viral. If that isn't a form of foreplay, disguised as word play, I don't know what is. You're simply throwing your lot in with the great mass of humanity choosing to lead their lives virtually while around them their nearest and dearest atrophy… or do likewise.
As with everything else on the internet, chat rooms are child's play to access making it seem positively unfriendly not to pop in and say hello. I'll dodge pornography, on which I have lingered of late.
But your reluctance to return to an activity you're ashamed of echoes the feelings of many who behave online in ways they would never entertain in their day-to-day lives.
I'd have to be a right old prude to frown on such innocent amusement.
What you're up to would seem pretty harmless, enjoying no-strings sexual dialogue that adds some spice to your settled life.
Plenty of men in relationships are out there doing it in real time and in real places, so many would argue that yours is a preferable option.
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But what does worry me is how your on-line activities are making you feel. Some behaviour only becomes tangible when it's dragged from the shadows and exposed in daylight.
You start by saying you enjoy your online activities.
If this is your main response then you could invite your partner to join in. Perhaps a joint foray into fantasyland might introduce a revitalizing frisson to your relationship?