More relationships die from silence than violence. Did you bite your tongue until it bled? Did you turn away from bad behavior? Did you nag instead of enforcing. But above all – and perhaps more important than how similar you are for the relationship if the other partner differs from them and has more. First thing you should know about me is that I'm a hopeless romantic. I swoon over couples holding hands in public, romantic comedies are my favourite movies.
BBC - Future - Is it better to be like your partner?
To take one example, common sense would suggest that if both partners are highly conscientiousness, then similarity in that case might well be beneficial.
Most of the time a perfect match was not beneficial. The standout exception, but only for women, was agreeableness: Less clear-cut, but also in favour of a similarity effect for both men and women, was a degree of similarity in openness a trait associated with enjoying new experiences and appreciating art and culture. One research team found that the couples who showed greater similarity in the trait of openness were more likely to stay together This tentative finding of a similarity effect for openness chimes with another recent paper that looked whether there is any connection between how similar partners are and how long their relationship lasts.
Beatrice Rammstedt at the Gesis Leibniz Institute for the Social Sciences in Germany had nearly 5, German couples complete personality questionnaires and tracked them for five years. Her team found that the couples who showed greater similarity in the trait of openness were more likely to stay together. The key is to see the other as a mirror and learn from the reflection how you can be a better person.
When you feel upset, rather than blame your partner and point fingers, remain awake to what has yet to be healed in yourself. Get comfortable being alone. By feeling safe and secure to be on your own within the framework of relationship, you will feel more complete, happy, and whole. Look closely at why a fight may begin.
Some couples create separateness by fighting and then making up over and over again. This allows you to continue the romantic trance, creating drama and avoiding real intimacy. Own who you are.
Is it better to be like your partner?
True love only exists by loving yourself first. After the fairy-dust start of a relationship ends, we discover ordinariness, and we often do everything we can to avoid it.
The day-to-day loveliness of sharing life with a partner can, and does, become extraordinary. One thing that unites us is that we all long to be happy. This happiness usually includes the desire to be close to someone in a loving way. To create real intimacy, get in touch with the spaciousness of your heart and bring awareness to what is good within you. Focus on giving love.
The unintentional outcome of loving others more deeply is that we are loved more deeply. You need it to solve conflicts and you even need it when it comes to intimacy.
10 Ways to Create a Strong, Intimate Relationship
Without good communication, how can anything in the relationship be clear and the rest of these values be strengthened? Loyalty This one is up there with trust.
Loyalty acts as a building block in relationships for other values such as those on this list. You have to actually want to be in a relationship and commit to it in order for it to work.
Relationships aren't always sunshine and rainbows, but the happy times should far outweigh the unhappy ones.
Being happy is really important in a relationship and if you are not happy then it is time to move on. Compromise Relationships are all about give and take. If one partner only takes and never gives, something is bound to break.