Gay relationship and cheating

People reveal the signs that told them their their partners were cheating -

gay relationship and cheating

A straight couple's world turns upside down after infidelity with gay partner. of both heterosexual and same-sex relationships, although expectations may be. However, for Vincent, 29, cheating wasn't a result of addiction or a breakdown in the relationship. He was simply bored and sexually frustrated. For couples who want to heal their relationships after an affair there is good reason to be hopeful. Most research reveals that two-thirds of heterosexual couples.

Open and sexually non-monogamous relationships are growing increasingly common in the gay and bisexual community, with partners setting boundaries that cloud the lines between opening up a relationship and cheating. The most important question that needs to be asked, though rarely is, is why?

Who's Cheating? If It's Not You, It's Probably Him

Why did someone cheat? In most cases the people around us will become the judge and jury, without looking further than the act itself.

Perhaps the bottom decided to start topping, or wanted more than what their partner could offer, particularly in the realm of kink or fetish. And after two, five, ten, or even twenty years together, the sexual chemistry between two people may have dissolved completely, leaving a loving, but sexless relationship.

gay relationship and cheating

But does that make it okay to stray? Is cheating the problem, or simply a failure in communication? Some people just want freedom separate from commitment. I personally struggle to see cheating as a black and white affair — pun intended — or something that signifies the end of a longstanding committed relationship.

What happens when one half of a loving long-term relationship wishes to explore sexually and the half other forbids it?

People reveal the signs that told them their their partners were cheating

Society sees the former as the one in the wrong. I was often turned on by the thrill of the cheating, doing something secretive and without my partner knowing.

However, I did learn that this creates an air of distrust that can eat away at a relationship and leave only ashes. Cheating can be very detrimental to any relationship. It is a part of life that has been around longer than us and will continue after we are gone, leaving everyone with very passionate views on how cheating has affected them.

I have seen many strong relationships crumble after one bad decision, and seen others strengthen from the realisation that there was a problem driving a partner to cheat. Everyone deals with it differently and so they should. We asked for your thoughts on the topic in the latest Gay Scene Guide.

Here are some responses. We used to believe in the field of psychology that most cheating was a result of a bad relationship.

My Partner Lied and Cheated — Gay Therapists Who Are Results Oriented - Gay Therapy Center

However, we no longer believe this and now realise that people cheat for all kinds of reasons that have nothing to do with the partnership. Are there things you want sexually in your relationship that you are not talking about with your partner? Are you dissatisfied with the romantic realm of your partnership and finding yourself looking elsewhere?

Talk to your partner about anything you are frustrated with or angry about. Find ways to express yourself to ensure you are not acting out anything angry towards him. Explore if there are issues here that are similar to the last time you were caught dissolving a relationship.

gay relationship and cheating

Perhaps you need to learn from this and behave differently. Were you sexually abused?

gay relationship and cheating

Sometimes childhood sexual abuse can rear its head by causing compulsive sexual acting out as an adult if it has not been healed or resolved. Hypersexual behaviour is the main symptom of unresolved childhood sexual abuse. You talk about your sexual behaviour as if it is out of your control and that makes me wonder about sexual abuse in your past.

Perks Of Being A Gay Couple

Sexual abuse can be overt and covert. Overt abuse is obvious where you were penetrated, digitally manipulated or masturbated, and you know that the interaction was directly sexual. This is a hard topic to raise with your parents without them becoming immediately defensive, even if sexual abuse did not occur. Often there are family stories about an uncle or family friend whose behaviour was inappropriate. You may be able to ask questions about anything like that around siblings, cousins, aunts and uncles to see if anything like this existed in your family.

Read a book on childhood sexual abuse to see if anything resonates for you. Are you sexually addicted or compulsive?

gay relationship and cheating

The main elements that drive sexual addiction are loss of control, continuing to engage in the sexual behaviour despite negative consequences and failed attempts to stop or control it. Boredom, as you state, is a major reason for surfing online. Research shows that it is the number one reason why people become sexually compulsive and can result in sexual addiction if not kept in check.

I would challenge you when you write that you can't control yourself and that you 'just fall into bed with someone' or that 'it just happens' when you are surfing the net. Both of these statements are passive and lack acceptance of accountability. I know it feels this way but now you have made the step to reach out for help and accept full responsibility. The only requirement for attendance is the desire to stop unwanted sexual behaviour.

Most gay men don't consider that they have unresolved internalised homophobia.

After coming out, many gay men think that everything is OK and never look back to examine if anything from their childhood growing up gay in an anti-gay world is being brought into the present and the future. Let's face it, we are taught to run away from each other as children and not allowed to pursue a close intimate relationship let alone a friendshipwith each other well into our teens - and for many of us much later. This template contributes to so many gay men being unable to form intimate relationships with other men, and cheating is one of the ways they avoid intimacy.

Do you really want to be monogamous? This is a question I ask all my clients in this situation. So often people are trying to push themselves into categories they think they should be in but don't really want.

I notice this with gay men who are upset that they are not in relationships and have dated for years, when the truth is that they don't really want to be in a relationship but think they should be because it's what they are taught by society.

In your case, make sure that monogamy is right for you and that you really want it.