10 signs your relationship is stuck in a gray zone
Talking, a time frame of a potential relationship in which you both have thinking that they did something wrong, that the end of their “talking”. The ambivalence is always about you and the relationship. things in The Grey Zone-uncertain, indifferent, open-ended, and downright shady. It's no secret that guys aren't the best communicators and are rarely the first person to bring up serious relationship discussions. On the other.
Do they need you to be a certain person for them or do they really want to find out who you are? There is another option to wanting to find the perfect person and place them on a pedestal until they fall off. Intimacy is not a blind commitment. Bonding to another human being is not a Romeo and Juliet moment, realizing at first glance you want to spend the rest of your life together or die.
Lack of reliable connection. But that is what vulnerability involves. I came from an extremely distant family with no reliable connection and support available. No one in my family really knew how to have friends or even to give empathy.
As a result, you could say I had attachment issues, among others. I wanted love and longed for deeper connections, so I would fool myself. I would then think I needed to commit and dive into the relationship to get some sort of secure commitment back.
The people I got involved with were usually those that could withdraw from connection suddenly if something felt bad, which I was highly attuned to. I took in a message from them: I will not connect with you unless act like the Mr Perfect I want. This is obviously not love, but with an oversimplified, all-or-nothing thought process this was what I created.
So I changed how I approached relationships. I brought my doubts and fears and allowed them to be visible. I let myself be tentative instead of pushing fears aside and diving in. I brought that I liked her and distrusted her at the same time — because in my family, there was always an agenda for being warm.
She distanced a little and learned to let go of expectations regarding me. I was seeing another person at the same time, so that added to the feeling of instability given where we were at. In some ways, she was ready for the relationship to end at any moment, but was also willing to see where it led. Yet the relationship grew. Kirsten once said that every time she really let go of an expectation regarding me, I responded positively and we grew closer.
So when there was room for more of me to be welcomed, I stepped forward. Right, but I was being more me when close to her, and she found she could be more herself as well. Given the lack of family connectedness, stress levels, overwork, and confusion of discipline with love, some form of attachment or anxiety issue is the norm rather than an exception.
Life's too short, so stop wasting time. If the result of this conversation is that one or both of you still make excuses about why you won't commit to a real relationship, the answer is clear.
It's time to move on. So now you need to: This doesn't mean you will immediately stop caring for or even loving this person, but you will allow yourself the time you need to accept the reality of your situation and give yourself the chance to move on.
If this means deleting their number from your phone, avoiding places you know you will run into them, or temporarily not doing some activities you enjoy to avoid an unwanted encounter - just do it. It won't kill you, and you'll be grateful you did it in the end. If there were any feelings involved, the person deserves enough respect for you to explain to them why you don't think it's a good idea to continue the 'relationship.
If you aren't, this can backfire - hugely. This conversation can sometimes take a sharp turn into 'let's talk this out' or 'I don't want to lose you' or whatever excuse the person may have for not wanting to let you go, even though they don't want you around enough to actually be with you.
Stick to your guns.
13 Signs Your Relationship Is Stuck In That Gray Area | TheTalko
This just makes the blurred lines surrounding the gray area even blurrier. You can not immediately make the transition from the gray area to the friend zone. The friend zone can be reentered when you've done the previous steps. Keeping in touch or trying to maintain a friendship with someone you still have feelings for, or who still has feeling for you, will keep you in the gray area. Both parties have to get over their feelings for it to be a pure friendship, not just an excuse to keep the person in your life.
This is especially difficult if it is a co-worker or close member of your social circle, but it is possible and needs to be done. If you have to see them everyday at work, that sucks - but that doesn't mean you have to talk to them. If you're in a situation that you do have to talk to them on a daily basis for your job, consider getting another one.
I know it seems drastic, but no job is worth the misery that comes form an extended stay in the gray area.
Celebrating the Grey Area in Relationships
If it is a member of your social circle, you may have to skip some parties or nights out with your friends, and that's OK.
You will still have plenty of time for your friends and find things to do when that person is not around.Grey Zone Dating - Why It's AWKWARD!!
There is really no valid reason I've come across to continuing talking to someone you are trying to get over. I'm not going to lie to you, it will be sad and won't be easy in the beginning, especially if that person was a big part of your life.