4 Questions to Ask Yourself Before You End a Relationship cracks that occur over time because of an unsatisfying sexual relationship, lack of. Not getting what you want from your relationship? Here's our Feeling unsatisfied in your relationship . Ask Ammanda: End of a relationship with a drug user. These tips are being given from the point of view of the lover who wishes to end the relationship in the hopes of creating a less painful ending.
Think about the person you are leaving. Imagine how they are going to feel about you wanting to end your lovership with them. This matters a lot. If it was you -- what words would you like to hear?
How would you like to hear the words? Would it be in person?
When it comes to deciding whether to stay in a relationship, leave love out of it
Would you like to hear first about all the beauty and goodness that you brought into their lives? Would you like to hear about how you made a difference? Think about starting with the love and the goodness. Offer a lot of appreciation and honor your lover by giving them your complete presence.
Be clear about what is not working. Do you need to move on? Is there a way to rework the relationship so it doesn't have to end? If you need to completely separate from the other person, be willing to listen to the reaction of the person being left. Don't engage in fighting.
11 Tips On How To Leave Your Lover Gracefully
Avoid getting "people on your side" when it comes to your decision to end the relationship. Just don't talk badly about the person you are leaving. Remember you are talking about a person that you once loved, and chose to have by your side.
Why would you talk badly about someone you loved and wanted to be with? Talking badly about your ex-lover only reflects badly on you. Let the person know how hard it is to end the relationship.
11 Tips On How To Leave Your Lover Gracefully | HuffPost
Let them feel your love. If you really want the relationship to be over, be strong in your boundaries. Be clear that the relationship is over. If you agree to go into counseling, be clear about your intentions. Cruelty is not acceptable. If love isn't important in a relationship, then what is?
Well, for a start, the feeling of love can be extremely fluid. It can wax and wane over the course of a relationship. In the absence of any other significant problem, you do not necessarily leave because the loving feeling is gone.
As M Scott Peck wrote, genuine love is volitional rather than emotional. The person who truly loves does so because of a decision to love.
This person has made a commitment to be loving whether or not the loving feeling is present. In other words, real love is less about the feeling of love than the promise to act in a loving way.
It is rare to maintain a consistent intensity of feeling throughout the course of a very long relationship. If there is commitment and compatibility and a desire to move forward, a temporary lack of love does not have to be a red flag. On the other hand, the mere presence of love is not at all an indication that a relationship is healthy and should continue. Love is not rational. Love can be profoundly destructive.
It is absolutely possible to feel love for someone with whom you have a toxic relationship. It is absolutely possible to "love" someone who abuses you, either physically or emotionally. It is absolutely possible to "love" someone who makes you deeply unhappy. Most of us have fallen in love with someone who is not good for us. Sometimes we quickly disengage from that person. At other times, the chemistry is so strong, the sense of connection so real, that we marry them, or spend years or decades with them.
What does it mean?
We all want love to be associated with pleasure, with personal growth, with support and nurturing and a sense of security and joy. But that's ideal, and aspirational, and not necessarily true. We can love people who put us down, who make us afraid, who treat us with disrespect.