How to have closure in a relationship

How to Get Closure from a Relationship: 15 Steps (with Pictures)

how to have closure in a relationship

We can find it very difficult to move forward if we don't have the type of closure we want. This happens in many relationships especially after a. I'm sure a lot of you would like to know how to get closure from a relationship, especially since so many people have experienced that horrible pain caused by a. After a breakup, it's hard to get closure if your ex won't talk to you and explain what went Have you asked yourself these questions at the end of a relationship ?.

The hope is that closure will make both parties feel better by learning from their mistakes. In theory, good closure should help you let go and move on with your life. However, there is an illusion that a final conversation has the potential to tie the relationship up in a perfect bow by leaving no questions unanswered.

how to have closure in a relationship

Yet, closure requires the cooperation of two parties, and sometimes, one party is unwilling or unable to have this final dialogue. Sometimes the avoidant party believes that it feels too painful, and other times this approach is preferred rather than potentially further hurting the other person.

But, what if your former partner denies you the closure you feel you need? Oftentimes, a lack of closure can feel like a major setback in the healing process.

how to have closure in a relationship

Accepting this truth -- rather than waiting or begging for closure -- is the first step in healing. Give Yourself Permission The days, weeks, and even months following a breakup are a time of mixed emotions. Rather than beating yourself up for still being sad, angry, confused, or ashamed, give yourself permission to feel everything you are feeling without judgement.

Instead of pushing emotions away, allow them to flow freely for as long as you need them to. Contrary to popular belief, there is no exact equation of how long you should grieve relative to the length of a relationship. Prolonged or incomplete grief may also result in poor future choices Brenner, related to relationship, substances, or other life and relationship choices. For instance, going to a favorite spot in nature and meditating on the release of the relationship, or putting everything you have in your home that reminds you of this person into a box, and then out of sight, might be an effective way to close this door.

Another source of pain can be the old familiar spots or activities you once frequented with your loved one. Write a Letter This age-old remedy for all sorts of relationship problems works here too. Pull up a blank computer screen or grab a piece of paper - journals can also be particularly useful for this exercise - and begin downloading your unedited thoughts. Allow your frustrations, love, and truths flow freely onto the page.

How to Get Closure When Your Ex Won’t Speak to You

Oftentimes, these letters are tempting to send and while it usually makes no difference to the healing process to send them or not send them, make sure you sit with this letter for several days before deciding whether you really want to send it. If you do decide to send it, practice releasing the expectations around receiving a response or receiving a favorable, validating response. This expectation can leave the door to further disappointment and upset wide open.

It has happened at least twice. One guy I dated off and on for two and a half years. But eventually, the time came. He was moving to another city, and I was planning to come visit his new place once he got all settled in. Then the strangest thing happened. During the moving period he started being super nice to me, abnormally nice, and I knew right then something was up. I knew he was struggling with trying to commit to me. I knew the breakup was coming, so I accepted it and wished him well.

Despite the end of the relationship, he had come to be an important part of my life. So I called a few weeks later and said I wanted to be friends and that he meant a lot to me. Do you think I ever heard from him again? But apparently, we had nothing. Like a dummy, I reached out to him again three months later, and he literally said the same thing: After that call I knew reaching out to him again would be a waste of my time and energy and would only cause me more pain, so I decided I would have to get closure for myself somehow.

When I look back, I realize I wanted him to validate our relationship. I wanted him to prove he meant what he said. I wanted to know I had meant something to him, anything. The only thing I could do was to look at my mistakes and my behavior patterns and work on my side of the street, because I was never going to get answers or closure from him.

The Second Time The second time I had to get closure on my own was with my last boyfriend. I actually ended things, but when I sent him on his way, I left the door open.

Letting Go Without Closure: 6 Strategies to Help Healing

Apparently, I was wrong. A few months later, after doing a lot of soul searching, I called and asked if we could try again. I accepted his decision.

I was sad, but it was time to move on. A month later he called and said he was willing to try again. We spent a week together, then he left and I never heard from him again.

Letting Go Without Closure: 6 Strategies to Help Healing

Not even talk to me. I knew this when I decided to try again, and looking back I should have known better. I was hoping for something that was what I wanted it to be, not reality. I can only control myself and my actions and how I deal with the ending of another relationship that I thought could mean something.

If people want to be in your life they make an effort. Try This If you are struggling with getting closure with an ex, ask yourself why you want to talk to them. Is it to get them back?