It's normal to have conflict in relationships. People are different, and their desires and needs will inevitably clash. Resolving disagreements in a healthy way. 5 Ways to (Finally) Resolve Conflicts in Your Relationship. 3. Discover the problem beneath the problem. (There almost always is one.). Tired of fighting and getting defensive? Doing this one important thing will help you resolve conflicts more quickly and effectively.
Instead of having it be about protecting myself in the moment, my intention became to respond to conflicts in a way that would set a foundation for the kind of beautiful future relationship I envisioned.
It was only then that I was able to start putting all my conflict resolution knowledge and skills to use. Actually, it was hard, especially in the beginning.
It required me opening up when I felt most vulnerable. Moving toward, when I wanted to retreat.
Taking responsibility for my part, when I wanted to dump the blame on him. Trying to listen with compassion when I felt frustrated or fed up. But, with a clear intention in mind, I did all these things and more. Today, one of the things my husband and I most prize about our relationship is the way we communicate with one another, especially during conflicts.
We do all the things I had envisioned when I first set my intentionand I feel a huge sense of accomplishment in knowing that this was no accident, but something we consciously created. Intentions can be conscious or unconscious, but everything you say or do will be based on an intention.
We all have a lower self that operates mainly from a place of fear, weakness, and limitations; and a higher self, one operating from a place of love, strength, and creativity.
The Most Powerful Way to Resolve Conflicts in Relationships
Before engaging in a conflict, I recommend setting a clear intention that is aligned with your values and the desires of your higher self. If your partner seems needy, maybe they are just feeling insecure and need your encouragement.
Learn to talk about the real issue so you can avoid constant fighting. Focus on what matters. Easy to say but hard to do, compromising is a major part of conflict resolution and any successful relationship. So your partner wants Chinese food and you want Indian? Compromise and get Chinese tonight, but Indian next time you eat out.
Find a middle ground that can allow both of you to feel satisfied with the outcome. Is this issue really important?
Does it change how the two of you feel about each other?
Conflict Resolution | cypenv.info
Are you compromising your beliefs or morals? If not, maybe this is a time for compromise. Remember not to sweat the small stuff.
Realize that not every disagreement needs to be an argument. If you find yourself in the midst of a conflict, try to remember that the other person is coming into the situation with a totally different background and set of experiences than yourself. But stopping to take a few deep breaths, and deciding to take a break and revisit the discussion when tensions are not as high, can sometimes be the best way to deal with the immediate situation. This is not to say you should have low expectations but it is to say that you should keep in mind you may have different expectations.
Remember you both desire harmony. Most likely, you both want to get back on track and have a peaceful relationship.
Also remember the feeling of connectedness that you want to feel. Focus on the behavior of the person and not their personal characteristics. Personal attacks can be far more damaging and long-lasting. Clarify what the person meant by their action, instead of what you perceived their action to mean. Most of the time, your partner is not deliberately trying to hurt you, and getting hurt happened to be a byproduct of that action.
Keep in mind your objective is to solve the problem, rather than win the fight.