How to still be independent in a relationship

how to still be independent in a relationship

Ask yourself this question: Do I still enjoy spending time by myself? If the answer is 'no,' then it may be time to start separating yourself from your partner. You always have a self, independent of your relationship. But if you don't feel safe expressing it rationally, regularly, and freely, you will begin to express it with . This Independence Day, don't forget to celebrate your own hard-earned independence. Follow these 5 tips to reassert yourself while developing a relationship.

The detached relationship no investment in the connection together. This is where one or both partners primarily focus on themselves. This often leads to poor communicationlack of feeling appreciated, and a constant uncertainty of how the other person actually feels. Due to that, some people may pull away to protect themselves and act distant in return.

Some people can coast in these relationships for a while. Inevitably, life gets complicated and they face hardships. The controlling relationship not allowing your partner to have their independence. This is when an insecure person tries to force their partner to only invest in the relationship. Also, they can be jealous if their partner finds happiness in something without them.

And ironically, this behavior leads to their worst fear coming true. When the infatuation wears off, control issues become much more apparent and lead the oppressed partner to resentment and seeking fulfillment elsewhere.

How to Stay Independent While in a Relationship | Her Campus

The co-dependent relationship no investment in themselves, only in the relationship. This is where one or both parties seek happiness only through the other person. They cling onto their significant others and expect to do everything or almost everything together. While this may seem adorable, it leads to a host of relationship struggles. Often one person will start to feel smothered and then distance themselves. How to build a balanced, independent relationship Set your expectations for independence from the start.

The sooner you understand and express your own needs, the better. Too many people make the mistake of trying to avoid any potential conflict early in a relationship. Then months or years down the line, they want to start investing in themselves.


They are now fighting against the conventions set in the relationship. You have to want that same freedom for your significant other. More than that, you should be supportive and encouraging of it. Tell your partner to have a night out with their friends. Buy them tickets to take a friend to the theater or a concert.

Skills for Healthy Romantic Relationships - Joanne Davila - TEDxSBU

Give them the foundation to be self-reliant when necessary. Listen, sometimes you just take one for the team and join your partner in an activity you may not love. You are two different people with individual tastes.

You can connect with friends, family members, and new people with similar interests. A lot of men do this with women so they seem like the perfect guy. Women want leaders who carve their own path in life.

how to still be independent in a relationship

They want strong men who know what they want and are unashamed of it. Push each other to discover new ventures and grow together.

Effortless Encounters

Human nature is to seek fresh experiences and grow from them. We like variety, different challenges, and new knowledge. There are unlimited events, activities, hobbies and classes to enjoy.

Understand when to compromise and when not to.

  • How to Stay Independent While in a Relationship

We all know that compromise can play a crucial role in any relationship. If everyone just did whatever they wanted, it would be like Mad Max out here. For example, say your friend invites you to a football game. For one night, you want to enjoy the game with friends and let loose — maybe with a few beers.

how to still be independent in a relationship

You have a designated driver home. Are you just supposed to stay at the expense of your own happiness? Make sure to frame your words in a way that expresses your concern while keeping your S. Communication is at the heart of every healthy relationship.

If they are not willing to support you, or to even have this conversation, then it may be time to reconsider whether this relationship is the right thing for you. Are there any times during the day when you and your partner are not in contact? If so, do something you enjoy for yourself.

Do something to take your mind off your partner. This will help you be more comfortable with spending time by yourself, without feeling the need to text your S. Rachel Petty, a sophomore at James Madison University, found that setting boundaries worked for her. It gives us time with our friends and a little break from each other! Call your parents and other close relatives, too. If you recognize that most of your friends are mutual friends with your S.

How To Be Independent and Still Have an Amazing Relationship

Having friends who share your hobbies will not only make them more fun to participate in, but it will also reinforce the sense that you are, indeed, your own person. Ramani says to definitely reach out to close family members, like a parent or a sibling, whom you really trust. Ramani recommends visiting a counselor. And if you can find a support group, then join it!

You may even make a new friend. There are also great books that you can read to learn about how to create healthy attachments in your life. Sue Johnson, which provides templates for seven conversations to have with your partner to create a stronger, healthier emotional attachment.