Take Control of Who You Are in Your Relationship - PsychAlive
If you are wondering how to be in control in a relationship, there are ways to help you get what you deserve. Try and be Your Majesty in a relationship. I learned it the had way and still have to remind myself at times, but a relationship with no healthy boundaries is a recipe for disaster, hurt, anger. Can you really take control of your relationship without being controlling? Absolutely. And here are 5 ways to get started.
How to Be in Control in a Relationship
You decide how and when you're going to spend your time together, and you are not expected to make any concessions to her. Now you just have to make this happen.
By taking to heart the Power Principles listed below, you will never again be expected to stand outside a changing room, holding her girly purse like a putz, while she endlessly tries on outfits. Make Her Come To You If possible, it's always good to make her feel as if she's initiated the relationship, not you. When it comes to relationship power politics, it's to your advantage if she gets the idea that she's just a little bit more into you than you are into her.
It'll keep her somewhat unsure of your feelings for her and, accordingly, she'll not be as likely to make demands on you. So play your cards close to your hand in the beginning.
Don't spill your guts over how happy you were that she agreed to give you her number, and don't call or e-mail her back the instant she contacts you. Acting overeager right away will only place her in a dominant role from the very start. By being friendly, but not puppy-dog-excited every time she walks into a room, you'll retain control.
Have some dignity, man. Rule Bedroom Politics Bedroom politics is an area where women have traditionally had an advantage.
5 Ways to Get More Control of Your Relationships * Hooking Up Smart : Hooking Up Smart
Just like the Greek play Lysistratain which women withhold sex to force their men to end a war, ladies very often use sex as a playing card to get what they want, either implicitly or explicitly. In contrast, women in her study were focused on trying to turn hookups into boyfriends. While there are exceptions, this means that most women enter new romantic encounters in a one-down position.
I am consistently amazed at how even guys who are not sweet believe that they hold all the cards. They act like sex gods, assuming that women are trying to trap them into relationships.
To add insult to injury, many women tolerate boyfriends who treat them badly and are crap in the sack. What are the options available to women who want to be in control of their personal relationships? Hard to Get, i. The Rules The most common approach is for women to play hard to get, casting themselves in the role of Least Interested Party to gain the upper hand. The theory goes that by seeming difficult to attain, men will put forth more effort. This approach has several advantages.
You are not constantly getting crushed by jerks. On the other hand, this approach can lead straight to the dating desert.
You may not be getting dumped, but life sure gets boring when there is no guy intrigue or boy drama.
Practice Self-Control If you control your own behavior, you have more control overall. No one can exploit you without your cooperation. Make sure that your level of interest is no greater than his.
You will have more power if you are truly less interested, not just pretending indifference.
The kiss of death: You know what you are willing to do, and what you will not tolerate. You are prepared to respect your own limits. When the other person crosses that line, you walk. For this strategy to be effective, it is very important that you clearly articulate your expectations in advance.
The Power Principle:Taking Charge In Relationships
Once you have made your dealbreakers clear, you MUST see it through. Act like a free agent when you are one.
Make a point of spending time with other guys, whether you want to or not. This is NOT about trying to make someone jealous.