In a long term relationship but have feelings for her

I’m in a relationship but I have a crush on someone else, what should I do? | Relate

in a long term relationship but have feelings for her

It doesn't matter how in love you are, how mature you are, or how No: Your attraction to others may be a sign that your feelings are changing. (Because sex is part of a healthy, happy relationship and everyone if your current relationship ends over it, perhaps it is time to break up before you hook up. According to relationship and dating experts, it's important to be upfront. says dating others to "rebuild self-esteem" is only a short-term solution for one party. If you find you're still in love with your ex, end things ethically. Developing a crush on someone when you're already in a long-term, committed You may think it's a betrayal of your partner but you might also be wondering.

in a long term relationship but have feelings for her

They go a level deeper — from the physical to the emotional. What is my crush telling me? This might be a need for love, attention, sex, friendship or any number of other things. It might be something has changed in your relationship recently that means you feel less connected to your partner.

What if You’re in a Relationship and Attracted to Someone Else?

A breach of trust may have made you feel more distant: How can I work on my relationship? One question people often ask is: One way to address this is by talking about it with someone you trust and who will keep it to themselves.

This could be a friend or family member. How, when and where you have this conversation is as important as what you say — you may find it very useful to read our article on communication tips to try with your partner.

This will help you think about ways to broach difficult topics without things turning into a row and how you could communicate effectively and clearly.

What you need to talk about will depend on your situation, but you might like to think about the following: Do we spend as much time together as we used to, and if not, why not? Do we make time to have fun together or just relax together?

My Relationship Has “No Future,” and That’s Okay » Together

They can help us re-connect with a part of ourselves that we have been neglecting or actively suppressing. They can awaken our libidinal selves or otherwise add excitement, and provide inner space for autonomy in highly relational, structured lives. The more we try to move away from the unacknowledged part, the more deliciously alluring it becomes—like a freshly baked cookie placed before a child forbidden to eat sweets.

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The passion and obsession felt for the object of the crush is really a longing for that part of ourselves. What parts of you come alive, as if from a coma? What characteristics or behaviors of that person knock you off your feet?

in a long term relationship but have feelings for her

How are those things like you or unlike you? The feelings of emotional arousal a crush evokes strike us like lightning, awakening us to repressed memories and longings—indeed, to our very life force.

This is why we may feel like we literally cannot live without the object of our affections. Far too often, when drawn like a meteor to someone other than their partner, people rush to the conclusion that the partner is not fulfilling them. Crushes reveal parts of ourselves that we have not courted for a long time.

They signal unlived aspects of our full and embodied expression. Crushes can also help us play out and recognize our own not-so-healthy relationship patterns in ways that are not entirely destructive: Her other relationships were healthy, but some hidden part of her was fulfilled by the inconsistency she felt with her crush. Adding Excitement, Possibility, and Passion to Everyday Life Sometimes crushes serve the purpose of enlivening an otherwise committed, devoted domestic life.

in a long term relationship but have feelings for her

My friend Laura talked about her three-year crush; how a day was made euphoric if she had contact with him, and so dull if not. Looking back, Laura realized that the sheer energy of the obsession had animated her life with vivid color during a particularly challenging period in her family and professional lives. She was walking the safe sidewalks of home and family in the outer world…and riding the cascading rapids of lows and highs in her fantasy world.

A crush can provide a private space for vitality and excitement in a life full of responsibilities that rarely has a moment of complete autonomy.