You can say that your significant other is your best friend all you want, but I think we should trash the idea that a romantic relationship holds more weight than. Defining exactly what love means is like trying to explain where rain My maid of honor at my future wedding is probably going to be a guy, When you love someone romantically, your relationship is based on compromise. Is there a difference between platonic love/relationships and romantic . They managed to take it for three years until she found the guy she married but she still .
Well, yes, I think it's definitely possible for some people. What you need to find out is whether you and your partner are among those people for whom it works. If it's any help, I can say how it works for me and my second husband. At the start, we were sexually very adventurous.
But we realise now that this was mostly a reaction to the chilling sex lives we had with our first partners and also because it was novel to be free of our teenage children's cruelly condemming gaze on our previous marriages.
I have three children and he has two. They're all great but mercifully no longer part of our everyday lives. Now, after six years together, we turn out to be not terribly interested in sex.
Can I have a platonic marriage and a fulfilling sex life on the side?
But we have a rich, tender, romantic, funny, warm emotional and intellectual life together and we mean to preserve it. We've often talked about how we reached this happy state and agree on two main requirements. Firstly, it won't work if you're not both reasonably confident, secure people who aren't needing more attention, love or approval than you're already getting from each other and from life in general.
It's a good sign that you weren't jealous of his lover. Could he say the same if you have an affair with the man you're attracted to? It would be best to discuss this first. Secondly, there has to be absolute trust, honesty and respect between you - no lies, no deceptions, no point-scoring.
We've found that a platonic marriage can't cope with games-playing - it's too insulting. This is a lot to ask of any relationship but it sounds as if you're halfway there anyway.
A Platonic Marriage Isn't What I Wanted - Purple Clover
J Walters, Sussex Six years ago, I learned via an anonymous letter that my husband was having an affair with a woman 30 years his junior. Some detective work on my part turned his denials into a reluctant acknowledgement of a series of long-standing relationships with leading ladies at the amateur theatre where he acted and directed.
After receiving counselling, I decided to stay with him and asked him to leave the theatre, which he did. It was at this time that redundancy in his lecturing post led to his taking retirement at I continued to teach fulltime. Since then, he has done nothing more than attend a week recreational course in philosophy, deal with the supermarket shopping and cut the grass. In spite of my suggestions about voluntary work, a structured course of study, part-time work and travel, he spends his time in bed and reading.
We had sex once during our honeymoon, perfunctory "this is what we're supposed to do" sex. As my husband, Richard continued to be a great cuddler. But, at best, we made love an average of twice a year.
When I broached the subject, he shrugged it off. Work wears us out. I'm sure it's no different for other couples.
Over time, I came to believe that a physical relationship wasn't something I deserved. Maybe I'd done irreparable damage to our relationship after the abortion.
Maybe I simply wasn't attractive enough. When we decided to have a child, I was truly excited at the idea of becoming a mother. I also hoped our attempts to conceive might rekindle our love life. When we were successful on our first try, I felt both thrilled and thwarted. Mission accomplished, we were once again done with sex. As a new mother, sex was far from my mind.
Platonic Life Partners: 5 Men And Women On What It’s Like To Marry For Friendship (Not Sex)
Our baby had two modes—screaming and nursing. For the year he lived in my arms, the last thing I sought was another person attached to me. Still, when friends alluded to making love with their partners, I got a lump in my throat. When one found herself accidentally expecting again, I felt jealous, not out of desire for another child but for that kind of spontaneous sex life. One evening, we attended an auction benefiting our son's preschool.
A mom I knew mostly from the playground had on a backless black dress, and I grew mesmerized by the rose tattoo on her shoulder.
Her husband came up behind her and, grazing it with his fingers, whispered in her ear. When he turned, I caught his expression: I glanced at Richard who was eating quickly, his attention fixed on his plate.
Later that year, our marriage ended. She became my best friend during that time and was there for me during my divorce which as the cliche goes was a very shitty time.
I never developed romantic feelings for her which allowed us to form a very solid and honest friendship. Eventually, once I stopped having as much sex as possible to wash away the memory of my ex-wife, she and I decided to move downtown together and get a big place and be roommates. A couple years into that she asked if I was planning on ever marrying again. She said that she wanted to marry me. Now keep in mind that I knew this woman very well by that point. I had never had a woman, a dear woman, who needed nothing from me tell me that she loved me enough to spend the rest of her life with me.
We had lots of sex like all newlyweds and were very passionate about one another. We had a couple of kids and after about 15 years found that the scheduling of our lives had resulted in us not having sex very often which is pretty typical, I think.