Relationship with an inmate

Inmate-to-Inmate: Socialization, Relationships, and Community Among Incarcerated Men

relationship with an inmate

Relationship with an Inmate. Staying connected to an inmate is important for many reasons. Whether you maintain the connection through. Honestly, both inmates and the ones who love them will use incarceration as a means by which to escape a relationship or a reason to enter. Most ex-prisoners are not ready to manage a romantic relationship in a positive In prison, inmates are rarely alone, so many prisoners highly value solitude.

  • Relationships for incarcerated individuals

They have to be navigated with care, patience and integrity. Unfortunately, they are not always handled this way. Honestly, both inmates and the ones who love them will use incarceration as a means by which to escape a relationship or a reason to enter into one. Some will use incarceration as a tool for extortion.

And others will use it as an opportunity to solidify or repair. All relationships — parental, familial, platonic, romantic — will be tried as a result of someone going to prison. Maintaining these is a fete many find impossible to endure.

Thriving or Surviving – Building a Relationship with your Inmate

Then, everything about how they are used to relating, changes. The freedom to interact with one another in the ways in which they are familiar, disappear. My experience has been such that prison actually helped me repair and maintain many of the relationships I had prior to going to prison. It gave me the time, space and opportunity to come to an understanding about who I was first and who other people were in relation to me second.

I came to appreciate not only those relationships but the individuals with which I was having them. For many inmates, this will not be easy. Many are so stuck inside of their ego, so motivated by the false notion that people on the outside owe them something, that they miss the opportunity for real, true personal and interpersonal growth.

Some of these convicts might even avoid contact with their family or loved ones for myriad reasons, but mostly because of guilt or shame. They would rather have no interaction at all if it meant confronting deep-seated issues that they are ill-equipped or unprepared to face. These are particularly tricky, they can also be quite difficult to maneuver, especially if the foundation was shaky prior to conviction.

Marital relationships are hardest because it can contradict to some degree the vows taken before God and family and friends. Should a person ask or expect their spouse to wait or be faithful or monogamously committed? That is not an answer I can give anyone, here, via this platform. However, when and if the time comes, the conversation should be broached in such a way that both parties leave it knowing they have been heard, honored and respected.

But I can contribute this: We all desire intimacy, to be told we are beautiful, to be wanted, to be touched, spoken to sweetly. We all need, in our physical presence someone upon whose shoulder we can place our heads, someone to just listen when we have something to say. Think about those things when placing demands or considering ultimatums.

relationship with an inmate

Know what you bring to the table, what you are lacking and what you expect of the other. This is about knowing yourself and your motives honestly. Do you know others in this situation? Get to know people in a like situation for support. They can empathize with difficulties as they arise and can be leaned on for advice, especially regarding the lopsided, seemingly one-way aspects that come up.

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Can you cope with limited contact and other difficulties? How might you manage if there is a change in their release date? The more you know up front, the better prepared you will be. Ask them what they actually did.

Life as a Prison Wife - I don't encourage relationships with inmates!

It tells you, in part, what to be mindful of. Know what they are doing to change, to better themselves. Ask not only about their conviction but about the circumstances that led up to their choice.

Do they have an out date? Some may find having a partner in such a limited capacity a plus. Others may want someone weeks from returning to society. I personally would suggest meeting someone with a little bit of time left.

Thriving or Surviving-Relationship with Inmate - PrisonConnect

Give yourself a minimum of three or more months to get to know this person. There is a reason for discounted prices. Extra time gives you the best opportunity to get to know them and solidify whatever foundation you can. That may enable you to withstand the weight that goes with their return to society.

How do you envision the relationship? Give it a try and see how it goes?

Relationships for incarcerated individuals - Wikipedia

Fix the wrongs in your life? Whatever your expectations, be realistic with them. Be mindful that a lot who are getting out have little to no money, and if they do, their immediate goal will most likely be to get situated and stabilize their self.

It is so important to have that talk as soon as possible and to continually update that.

relationship with an inmate

What do you expect, anticipate? The response from friends was funny when I showed them this. It depends on the situations. Mainly it is on you to know — how are they living? Remember, you may start your search for a loved one in here, but ideally you want them to come home and stay home.

relationship with an inmate

If going to seg is never their fault, be careful. An inability to be accountable or responsible, combined with poor decision-making, should be further clues. In here, there is time, more time and then extra time to do most of what you want to do. If their time is spent watching all the TV series and talk shows, if they play cards all day, then what aspirations do they have? If not in here, why out there?

relationship with an inmate

Phone conversations and erotic letter writing are ways to gauge if a spark exists. Do they have a preoccupation with sex? Every bit of information is a clue to better knowing your potential partner. This is one of the safest and earliest ways to test compatibility while still locked up. Who comes to see them? Do they have multiple names there?