Causes of resentment in a relationship

Resentment, What Does It Mean And What Causes It?

causes of resentment in a relationship

Resentment – Causes, Consequences, & Cures. older couple conflict As a relationship, communication specialist I spend a vast majority of my. How many of you have ended up in a relationship where you find yourself just furious at your partner, that resentment just bubbling up and. When it comes to human emotions, you may be wondering to yourself “what is resentment?” The definition is bitter indignation at having been treated unfairl.

  • Relationship Mistakes That Will Make Your Partner Resent You
  • Resentment, What Does It Mean And What Causes It?
  • Resentment – Causes, Consequences, & Cures

Indeed, my work is often very fulfilling. In the years of my work, I have witnessed dramatic and pervasive change in relationships that barely had a pulse when they arrived. It is amazing to watch what happens when individuals use the tools and make choices that promote positive change. Our motto at LifeWork Counseling is: One of the lessons I have learned in my work with clients is that tools cannot do their job if resentment is in the way. They perform a function. However, if resentment exists in one or both individuals, they are not likely to pick up the tools and use them.

Resistance is a major foe counseling professionals face in our work with clients. More importantly, resistance is a major contributor to relationships in a rut. It lays underneath the surface and in a stealth-mode quietly informs behavior.

causes of resentment in a relationship

This is why partners often do not do what they know they should. Causes of Resentment Resentment is a condition that usually builds over time. It is imperceptible at first, but over time develops layers as disappointments mount and nothing changes. This is not a comprehensive list, but highlights some of the major contributors. Place a check next to the ones that apply to your experience. One-sided relationships Individuals who are the primary givers and rarely the receivers in relationships are likely to form resentment over time.

Their basic needs within the relationship are being ignored!

When Saying ‘Yes’ Causes Resentment in Your Relationship

Healthy relationships are based on reciprocity, give and take. If you are giving but not taking, you are in a one-sided relationship. This needs to be addressed or the resentment will ruin you. Little things become big things Adjustment is an important task in the early stage of relationships.

Here is where couples learn how to live together and develop a rhythm of relationship.

Resentment – Causes, Consequences, & Cures | Life Work Counseling

Accommodation is a key element in the adjustment phase and throughout the course of life together. Mutual accommodation is the solution.

These little things matter to them. If they do, then they should matter to the partner. Typically, these are people who operate with strict rules for themselves and others. They tend to exhibit a form of rigidity and perfectionism.

Consequently, they become punitive toward others who violate their rules and standards. They may take great offense at minor offenses.

What is RESENTMENT? What does RESENTMENT mean? RESENTMENT meaning, definition & explanation

The offender is in detention and may experience a coldness from their partner. These individuals struggle with forgiveness. Various types of problems: Over the years, disappointment and unhappiness turn into resentment.

Relationship Mistakes That Will Make Your Partner Resent You

Individuals wonder if they should stay together or be better off on their own. Consequences of Resentment Resentment serves a basic function in relationships.

It establishes physical and emotional space between people. Here are some consequences of resentment you may want to consider. Difficulty in achieving and maintaining connection If resentment equates with distance, forget about connection. It is hard to achieve. Resentment creates a gap between people that communication tools can only fix if the resentful party will pick them up.

Resentment deprives you of this basic need. Dating and Relationship Coach Hunt Ethridge says unilateral decisions can make a partner feel disrespected. One of the parties usually feels left out or overlooked when it comes to communication, as if their opinion was worthless. Also, it can signify a lack of respect. Especially for a man, respect is needed. In a study [by Dr. Resentment also magnifies each slight, real or imagined. Putting other people and things first Date? I have to work!

causes of resentment in a relationship

As a result, they will probably start to readjust their own priorities, and make other interests or people come first. However, when trust is broken because intimate details are shared with others, this can cause resentment to spring up. Holding grudges Holding a grudge will hurt you more than your partner.

Unload the burden of your anger and set yourself free. Avoid blocking the lines of communication in an attempt to avoid conflict. Barbi Pecenco, Marriage and Family Therapist, says bottling up emotions will eventually poison the relationship. For all you know, the problem could be quickly and easily resolved if you just speak up. Have a discussion with your partner instead of risking the health of your relationship — and your emotional well-being.

causes of resentment in a relationship

We are inadvertently doing our relationship a huge disservice, because not only will our partner feel like a stranger because we are not openly sharing our thoughts and feelings, we will also accumulate resentment because we will feel taken advantage of and not cared about.

Instead they go underground and begin to pollute the very foundation that your relationship is built on. Uneven housework distribution Partners should work together to keep the house clean. Why should someone else have to pick up for your slack? If household chores are often a point of contention, one tool that might help you and your partner keep the peace is the HoneyDo appwhich helps couples manage chores.