Conflict is essential in a healthy relationship

How Conflict Can Improve Your Relationship

conflict is essential in a healthy relationship

Conflict is inevitable after the "honeymoon phase" in any relationship. We automatically assume that conflict will collapse a relationship. The good news is that “most fighting comes from skill deficits,” according to Susan You Need to Know Before Getting Married: The Essential Guide to a Successful Marriage. Conflict is a predictable part of virtually all relationships. It can also be a significant source of stress. Therefore, with most conflicts, it's important.


Trying new things with your partner bonds you in a new way - especially when your activities are adrenaline boosters like watching a scary movie. Forgo virtual communication during the day.

conflict is essential in a healthy relationship

This means no emails, texts, and phone calls about non-emergent things. Giving yourselves some time away from each other gives you the chance to start yearning to reunite with them at the end of the day. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't be thinking about your significant other. Think about them several times throughout the day, but challenge yourself to focus on the positives.

By not talking to each other all day every day, you'll likely begin to focus on the things you love about your partner - the things you miss when you aren't in contact. Schedule some face-to-face time at night to connect.

Use this time to reconnect and talk about your days, dreams, or interests. She also decided to park on the outskirts of town and walk, because she wanted to get more physical activity into her day.

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Both partners win because their concerns are answered. Orbuch, also the author of 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Greatsuggested addressing specific behaviors rather than personality traits. She said that this is easier to hear for the other person and he or she has a good idea of what to work on. If emotions run high, take a break. If you find yourself getting emotional, take a break to calm down.

Why Conflict Is Essential To A Healthy Relationship — Wellbeing Place

Start with side-to-side conversations. Orbuch said that an apology can go a long way.

conflict is essential in a healthy relationship

In general, you want to avoid steamrolling and resentful surrender, he said. As mentioned above, he explained that avoiding conflict actually gets couples into trouble.

Healthy Relationships and Conflict Resolution |

In successful couples the difference is that they learn to talk about the problems in a flexible and considerate way, with perspective and without blaming each other for their differences. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect — even during an argument. If your partner curses at you, calls you names or ridicules you, tell them to stop. Find the Real Issue.

Jordan Peterson - Why Fighting is Necessary in Relationships

Try to get to the heart of the matter. If your partner seems needy, maybe they are just feeling insecure and need your encouragement.

conflict is essential in a healthy relationship

Learn to talk about the real issue so you can avoid constant fighting. Focus on what matters. Easy to say but hard to do, compromising is a major part of conflict resolution and any successful relationship. So your partner wants Chinese food and you want Indian? Compromise and get Chinese tonight, but Indian next time you eat out. Find a middle ground that can allow both of you to feel satisfied with the outcome.