Couples Therapy: How to Stay Close After Baby
And we're not alone. About two-thirds of couples become dissatisfied with their relationship within three years of having a child, according to research from the. Find out how other couples keep their relationships on track, and pick up some tips. Natalie "You hear a lot of negative stories about sex after pregnancy, but it's not always the case! . So happy for you! for re uniting with your lover. Advice for new parents on coping with changing relationships, both as a couple and not a friend or family, there are lots of ways you can contact a relationship counsellor, Existing abuse may get worse during pregnancy or after the birth.
Comment Email Copy Link Copied After months of anticipation, the birth of a baby is such a joyful event for both mom and dad. In the years that will follow, however, co-raising a child can put a strain on the partnership. Raising a child, after all, requires resources, time, effort and commitment. Incidentally, so do relationships. For some couples, the relationship gets put aside due to the added responsibility.
In other cases, the responsibilities fuel conflict. This is especially if the relationship was tumultuous and tension-filled to begin with.
In fact, some studies on happiness and marriage have found that after the birth of a child, overall satisfaction with the relationship declines for most couples. This is especially pronounced after the birth of the first child, fairly understandable since this is usually a new experience for one or both parents. Many couples manage to learn from the experience, recovering their relationship and go on to be partners for life. Or until some other bigger stressor finally drives them apart.
In any case, it might be handy to know some of the signs that the relationship is in danger. If the issues behind these signs go unaddressed, chances are that the dynamic duo is going to split some time soon. But if both parties are willing to sit down and talk about them, well, there just might be hope. It will be natural that one or both of the partners will be spending extended periods of time with the baby. The baby does need plenty of care, after all. If left unaddressed, this can lead to resentment and, perhaps, the partner spending less time on the relationship as a result.
Fortunately, however, there is an easy fix for this.
Her side "Growing up, I never had to save for something I wanted. I didn't learn the value of that. But I never ran up debt, and Joshua and I always paid our bills on time.
Once we became parents, though, Joshua thought I spent too much on the baby.
Relationships after having a baby - NHS
He questioned every nickel I spent, and I felt like he was trying to control me. I nagged Ashley to cut back because we didn't have an emergency fund, which was even more important now that we had a daughter depending on us. Sonya needed clothes, but not every time Ashley went to the mall.
And don't get me started on the little things, like coffee, that really add up! Discuss your spending and saving habits and your long-term goals, Gordon-Rabinowitz advises. Review six months of expenses to see exactly where your money goes, and then add in the costs for baby must-haves. If you're not sure how to estimate that, sign up for the free, ten-day Baby on Board Bootcamp at LearnVest. Crunch the numbers to see if you can still achieve your goals based on your income and spending tendencies.
Then set a budget -- excluding your salary if you plan to stay home -- so you can adjust to living on less even before you become a family. Designate a certain amount that the two of you can spend however you want. How they're doing now Ashley and Joshua decided to see a financial planner, who helped them create a budget they could both stick to. They also went to counseling, which taught them how to talk through their differences.
Ashley stopped spending as often and started shopping sales.
Josh picked up extra work to help offset their escalating expenses. As for the emergency fund, they're still not able to save as much as they'd like. Pinterest "We were locked in a power struggle. Louis Parents of Henry, 1 The conflict During her leave, Megan, 31, worked to get Henry into a healthy sleeping and feeding routine, and she expected Greg, also 31, to follow her lead. When she corrected him, it set off loud arguments that often ended in Megan's giving Greg the silent treatment. The couple also bickered about chores, because Megan wanted more help around the house.
Her side "I didn't know anything about babies, so I read a lot of books. I wanted Henry to develop good habits. It was so frustrating that Greg didn't take me seriously -- until his own way failed, and then he reluctantly gave in.
We wasted time trying things I knew wouldn't work -- like letting Henry stay up so we could all go out to dinner. Greg's ideas weren't unreasonable, but we had different notions about what was best. Besides, who said books have all the answers?
Your pregnancy and baby guide
The real problem was that we have very different personalities: Unlike Megan, I fly by the seat of my pants. She liked that about me before we became parents, but once Henry arrived, she thought he'd be scarred forever if he got off schedule.
During the first few months of his life, we constantly went to bed angry. New moms often feel as if their husbands are ill-informed or less experienced, and so they become critical to maintain the routine that they believe works.
Most men don't learn about baby care until after their baby has arrived. The sooner expectant dads are schooled, the better, Marter says. Encourage your partner to attend doctor's appointments and prenatal classes with you.