Stop working on the relationship

stop working on the relationship

Although your friends might tell you to GTFO, you might be torn between leaving and making things work. Here's how to tell if you should stop making an effort. Why was I always the only one who really tried to work things out? Why was I always the one putting work and effort into relationship issues, but. Stop projecting your own insecurities onto the other person. Focus on the good things in the relationship. Stop thinking you can read her mind. This can disrupt.

Most of us have experienced that dilemma of not knowing whether to walk away from a relationship. You think that you're being too picky, you worry that no-one else will love you this much, you don't want to hurt someone you care about, you fear regretting it and not being able to win them back.

You've stayed in relationships for those reasons, right? Yep, so have we. But these alone aren't good enough reasons to stay in a relationship that isn't working.

Ending a relationship can be heartbreaking, even if you're dying to get away. The blissful future that you'd imagined when you first got together is now not going to happen.

stop working on the relationship

Thing is, is you're unhappy, that blissful future wasn't going to happen anyway. It will be difficult, but ultimately it'll be the right thing for you both. Life is too short and your partner's life is too short to waste valuable years on a pairing that's going nowhere. A successful relationship is based on more than sex and silently watching the telly together.

You prefer seeing your friends to seeing your partner A good relationship involves socialising with and without your other half. Not wishing that you lived with your housemates again rather than your lover. But if you just stop fancying your partner, and sex becomes a chore or stops altogether, listen to your alarm bells.

Casual touching, hugging and holding hands are the signs of a healthy relationship with two people who still fancy each other. Be really honest with yourself.

Stop Trying to 'Fix' the Relationship | HuffPost

Was the relationship really that good? Was he really that good to you? Was he really that supportive? Is it really realistic that you won't be able to find anyone better? Sometimes after we break up with someone -- or even while we are dating someone -- we can tend to put them up on a pedestal.

In other words, our minds can kind of imagine them to be better than they really are. Here's a little hint: If he wasn't willing to work out problems with you, then he probably wasn't going to be that good for you in the long-term, anyway.

Sure, there were good times, but it's how two people work through problems together that really defines the strength and stability of the relationship. We can recognize the reality for what it is all we want, but if we are not willing to fully accept that as the reality, then we are going to continue to struggle.

Stop Trying to 'Fix' the Relationship

So, there are a number of things we may need to really focus on accepting: How they treated us, how they acted during conflicts, how supportive they were and so on. We may also need to accept the reality that we have broken up and that this person does not want to work things out.

Make the intention to let it go. Once you have been completely honest with yourself and chosen to accept your reality, just let it go.

This can be easier said than done, but when we make a strong intention to do so, then it can happen. To clarify, letting go does not necessarily mean that all of the heartbreak is going to magically go away overnight.

stop working on the relationship

However, making the intention to let go will give you the opportunity to heal. So, once you have recognized and accepted the reality about this relationship, take a moment to set the intention for yourself to let go.

How to Stop Fighting in a Relationship and Resolve Conflict in Marriage

You can do this simply by stating out loud, "[NAME] I release you," or you could make the statement and then do some kind of action, like light a candle, then meditate for a couple minutes.

Another alternative would be to write a letter to the person or a letter reflecting on your relationship with that person. In doing this, even though you may not have had the opportunity to say a verbal "goodbye," you are giving yourself the chance to give the person a goodbye energetically.

And you know what? That person may feel the "goodbye" and release even more that way than if you were to ever say it in person, anyway. Trust and have faith. Even after we have let go of a past love, we can still be dealing with a series of painful emotions. Be easy on yourself.

Trust and have faith that you will heal and things will get better.