Asking your ex for relationship advice

How to Ask Your Ex for Help (with Pictures) - wikiHow

asking your ex for relationship advice

I don't want to loose my dignity and respect either for asking now. However, my advice to you is to use your smart mind to override your heart, and start to look. (Paid Content) My friends and I spend more time than I'd like to admit I Asked My Ex 29 Questions About Our Relationship .. Dating Advice. “Instead of seeking advice from an ex, one should confide in friends, either directly or indirectly. If you ask your ex, it would seem like you are.

Sometimes when we are attached to something and that thing dies, it takes us a long time for the death of the thing to register. This process of living through the period of time between when the thing dies and when we are ready to accept at an emotional level that the death has occurred is called grief. This is a very sad thing that has happened for you. Your former boyfriend was put into a position where he had to choose between you and what his parents want for him and he made his choice in favor of what his parents want for him over you.

asking your ex for relationship advice

He did not have the courage to tell you that he had made a choice. He may not have admitted it to himself consciously, but he did "vote with his feet" by distancing himself from you until it was obvious and you confronted him. You did absolutely the right thing by standing your ground and not allowing him to devalue the relationship by trying to convert it to a friendship when that is not what you desire.

asking your ex for relationship advice

Some other people in your situation would have caved just to keep the relationship going, and that would not be good for them self-esteem-wise. The price of you keeping your dignity is, unfortunately, that the relationship has died. The right thing to do now is to move on and find another man. This is so very hard to do sometimes, however. You say that you want closure, finality, and I appreciate that you want some event to happen that will snap you out of your trance and allow you to get unstuck emotionally and move on one way or another.

But be aware that if the closure you need is something that only this man can give you, that you have made yourself hostage to his whim and no longer have control over yourself and your own emotions. What would closure look like? If you contact him, he is likely to try to be friends with you, because that is the path of least resistance for him. I think it likely that any contact you have with him will only prolong your agony unless seeing him not be straight with you helps something to snap in place in your mind.

If you simply must talk with him, that is perfectly fine. You might feel humiliated, but this is something worth humiliating yourself over. Focusing on how he has wronged you might help you move on. Threatening to leave each other was a very common occurrence in their fights. But one day, Amanda decided to leave Terry for good. She was tired of the toxic relationship. She was embarrassed in front of her neighbors and was ashamed of herself and her partner. She was tired of the relationship pattern.

The good that was always followed by the bad. And the bad kept on getting worse while the good remained the same. At first Terry was in denial.

She really wanted to breakup. He felt like he had no hope. Everyone blamed him for all the negativity in the relationship. It felt like his entire world came crumbling down. He preferred it when she was angry at him. At least that meant she cared. Terry followed this plan. But he had to do a lot of soul searching to figure out what went wrong. The toxicity in the relationship was caused by insecurity, lack of trust and lack of communication.

Both of them had no idea how to communicate with each other. Terry wanted to make sure that this never happened again if they get back together. He went to counseling. He started an anger management program.

asking your ex for relationship advice

And he read books on communication. The last time I heard from him, they were talking about getting back together after two months of no contact.

She said that she wants to get back together but is not sure if we will repeat the same mistakes. She felt that she was also responsible for the bad arguments and she wants to improve herself as well.

We are planning to meet up and discuss it soon. Maybe we will go for couples counseling. The Obsession and Misinterpretation The obsession that comes after a bad breakup is probably the worst part of it. Your mind keeps racing trying to figure out the best way to get your ex back as soon as possible. Your mind wants a fool proof plan.

It wants a guarantee that things will work out with your ex in the future. Does this mean he wants to get back? Does he want me to reach out? You or anyone else can only guess the answers to these questions.

Your ex wants you to win them back the right way. These questions are a result of your mind trying to do an impossible task. A task, that your instinct has given your mind. Imagine your mind is like a computer that will try to find a solution to whatever problem you give it. Make sure that I do not lose my ex at any cost.

Figure out this way as soon as possible because my ex may move on.

asking your ex for relationship advice

On top of that, your instincts are threatening your survival. No wonder your mind is working on overdrive. But when your mind is working on overdrive, it is likely to make mistakes.

Asking My Exes For Relationship Advice

In fact, most of the mistakes mentioned above are a result of bad judgement that comes with not thinking things through. They are a result of panicked mind that is trying to do an impossible task. For example, If your ex calls you, you might take it as a sign that they want to get back together and start talking about how you still love them. If your ex tells you they still have feelings for you, you might feel the urge to drive to their house with flowers and chocolate thinking that this is the type of reconciliation story they show in the movies.

If your ex posts a picture on social media with someone of the opposite sex, you might assume that they are dating and start freaking out and make every mistake I mentioned above. If you find out they liked a picture of someone on Instagram, your mind might conclude that they want to sleep with them.

This will probably make you freak out, call them and act controlling and borderline crazy.

  • Am I a heap of garbage for asking my ex for relationship advice?
  • How To Get Your Ex Back Permanently – 5 Step Plan

The best way to avoid making any misinterpretation is to just not take any action for a while. Not until your mind has calmed down and is not panicking hard. Even though they mean well, most people are not equipped to analyze a breakup and figure out the best course of action that will lead to getting your love back.

The most important thing for you to do right now is to realize that these mistakes will not help you get him back and stop doing them right away. Jenny made all the mistakes. Her ex was in a rebound.

Am I a heap of garbage for asking my ex for relationship advice? - guyQ by AskMen

But she still managed to get him back The first thing that Jenny noticed when she came to our website was the deadly mistakes mentioned in this article. She made all the mistakes mentioned in the article and then some. She begged him to take her back. And she totally freaked out when she found out her ex went on a date. She repeated all the mistakes and even threatened to tell her new girlfriend that he should not be trusted.

She even became borderline abusive and said some nasty things to him. But all she could get from her ex was this line. But she decided to do no contact and figure out a way to fix herself before trying to get him back.

She did manage to get him back by following this exact plan. The real reason this plan worked for Jenny because she worked on her self-esteem and confidence.

Why Asking Your Ex for Help When Dating Someone New is Actually a Great Idea

It took her a total of 3 months, but it was worth it. When she contacted her ex, he had already broken up with his rebound and was glad to hear from her. Her message conveyed honesty and confidence. I lost my confidence, my self-worth and my individuality.