Imagine your relationship with your mate is like a friendly game of tug-of-war. Except Creating in Flow The deeper the intimacy, the more you'll have the experience of total absorption with your partner, in and out of bed. Create opportunities for intimacy. Take time out to be together as a couple when you can focus on each other and on your relationship. The harder it is to do this. Intimacy to a relationship is like breath to your lungs. So, how do you create that feeling of closeness when your relationship is new? I tell my.
It's a way to enjoy your sexuality—touching and exploring each other's bodies. Shampooing one another's hair, scrubbing each other's backs, and soaping each other up is erotic and fun. You want a partner who's willing to share sexy experiences with you other than intercourse. There's a lot more ways to pleasure one another than that! Take a Road Trip.
Movies such as Easy Rider, Rain Man, and Thelma and Louise show us how road trips bring adventure, test our compatibility, and create closeness. An open highway and miles to travel provide the perfect opportunity to open up about our lives and show our true selves. Leaving our familiar surroundings to see new people and places lets us share fresh experiences together. When my husband and I were dating, we took a road trip from our home in California to see Mount Rushmore in South Dakota.
We created memories that belonged only to us and tied us together forever. No technology, no distractions, no hassles of everyday life Stay in Bed Together All Day. When my husband and I were newlyweds before kidswe started spending Saturdays in bed together—talking, cuddling, and reading the newspaper.
We allowed no distractions— no television, no phone calls, no discussion of work. Our bed became our sanctuary from the hectic world.
This was the restful time we needed to see the big picture of our lives and plan our future and family together. Otherwise, life would have just happened without intent. It proved an effective way to get to know one another—our likes and dislikes, what turns us on, and how we like to spend our time. When my husband was my slave, I'd have him do the things that meant a lot to me: When I was his slave, he'd like me to cut his hair, watch football, make him his favorite recipes, and play strip poker.
When we'd play Slave for the Day, we'd let it cross over into our sex lives. It was a fun and non-threatening way to let our partner know what gave us pleasure—what positions we liked, what fantasies we had, what music we enjoyed, what clothing turned us on, whether we liked lights on or off, and whether we preferred talking or no talking. It's often difficult for couples to talk about these things, but this game makes it easy. When my husband was my slave, I'd ask him to take me to the Farmer's Market.
Give Each Other Massages. Having a massage was a common Slave for the Day request made by both my husband and me. Who doesn't love a good massage and who doesn't appreciate the one giving it? When we were dating, my husband and I even took a series of classes at the community center on how to give one.
It was a very intimate experience and connected us in profound ways.
We learned about one another's bodies, how to get our partner to release tension, and how to use massage oils to heighten the sensation. Flirting seems to come naturally to us when we're attracting a partner but tapers off over time.
But it's one of the most powerful ways to create intimacy and strengthen a relationship. Plus, there's more ways to do it than ever before—e-mails, texts, phone calls, social media, and notes. Many of us hesitate to flirt because we're introverted and feel as if we're playing a role that we're not suited to play.
I certainly put myself in that category. But it helps to think how your partner feels and not yourself. Who doesn't like to hear they look sexy, are wearing something attractive, or are intelligent, witty, and terrific company? While it often feels stilted and cumbersome, active listening really works to bring a couple closer together. The more you do it, the easier it becomes— more natural and intuitive. Unavailability fuels the romantic expression.
This kind of romantic story can only work when there is an absence of the lover. Sometimes, they have to die in the end in order for their love to fit into this romantic view.
Or, we eat handfuls of popcorn, waiting to see if they live happily ever after, and we rarely find out if they really do. The romantic love fantasy is really a substitute for intimacy—real, connected, vulnerable intimacy. So then, how do we make relationships work and stay happy? We begin with the understanding of what pure love is, and then redefine and update the romantic fairytale into a healthier type of love.
Here are 10 ways to create true intimacy, find pure love, and be truly happy in your relationship: Use relationships to teach you how to be whole within.
10 Ways to Create a Strong, Intimate Relationship
See your partner for who he or she really is. The romantic tragedy occurs when you view the person you are in love with as a symbol of what they have come to represent, the idea of them. Be willing to learn from each other. The key is to see the other as a mirror and learn from the reflection how you can be a better person.
When you feel upset, rather than blame your partner and point fingers, remain awake to what has yet to be healed in yourself. Get comfortable being alone. By feeling safe and secure to be on your own within the framework of relationship, you will feel more complete, happy, and whole. Look closely at why a fight may begin.
Some couples create separateness by fighting and then making up over and over again.
This allows you to continue the romantic trance, creating drama and avoiding real intimacy. Own who you are. True love only exists by loving yourself first. After the fairy-dust start of a relationship ends, we discover ordinariness, and we often do everything we can to avoid it. The day-to-day loveliness of sharing life with a partner can, and does, become extraordinary.
One thing that unites us is that we all long to be happy.